


Smudged (Bit by Bit)

by DanicaVarder



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Arranged Marriage, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette (initially), Barebacking, Blindfolds, Bottom Kim Jongin | Kai, Casual Sex, Cock Slut, Coming Untouched, Confessions, Consensual Sex, Daddy Kink, Depictions of anxiety, Dirty Talk, Domestic, Dominant Oh Sehun, Domspace, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, Light Spanking, M/M, Male Squirting/Watersports (briefly), Masturbation, Mouthfucking, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, Prostate Massage, References to Depression, Rope Bondage, Rough Sex, Smut, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Subdrop, Submissive Kim Jongin | Kai, Subspace, Top Oh Sehun, Verbal Humiliation, Vibrators, cumslut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25587676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanicaVarder/pseuds/DanicaVarder
Summary: Jongin can't take much more heartbreak in his relationships. Sehun doesn't seem like the loving type to begin with. An arranged marriage is convenient, if they can keep it casual.(Or: They're like watercolor paints on paper, spreading until only a thin line separates them. Jongin can't help but smudge it.)(Second half of tags, starting at Overstimulation, apply heavily to Part Two ONLY. Part One is lighter on graphic smut except for one scene)
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 39
Kudos: 294





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> \- Mind the tags  
> \- This is all fictional and in no way represents EXO, Jongin, Sehun or their relationships with each other in real life  
> \- Nothing but respect for Jennie Kim in this house!! The above disclaimer applies!  
> \- I am not the leading authority on arranged marriages (or any marriages for that matter), LGBTQIA relationships (though I identify as part of the community), or BDSM etiquette (though I participate). I kindly ask you to forgive discrepancies/inaccuracies for the sake of fiction  
> \- Also, S Korea hasn't legalized gay marriage but like, fuck that? Get these boys MARRIED!  
> \- There need to be more top!Sehun fics in this world :(  
> \- Additional notes on the conception/development of this fic in the end notes of the first chapter, if you are interested!

It all kind of happens in a blur.

One second, Jongin is in a relationship. His second-ever, serious relationship. One that happened only after years of healing from his first-ever relationship (where the breakup had left him in  _ shambles _ ) and years more of dating and getting to know each other. He had taken his time, had fallen back in love, had convinced himself that he was  _ worthy _ of said love, and that he had found a lifelong partner. 

For real this time.

The ring is in his pocket. He’s going to do it. He’s going to ask Jennie Kim to marry him. His parents— and hers— are going to be ecstatic. They’ve been waiting for this moment for as long as he has. And he and Jennie have talked about it unofficially over this past year. He knows she’s on board. He knows that this is  _ it _ for them. The next step.

He’s shaking with excitement and nerves as he gets down on one knee.

“Jennie Kim, will you marry me?”

She bursts into tears and Jongin can’t help but smile. It’s the perfect proposal, after all: the spot of their first date, after a lovely lunch at their favorite restaurant. It’s the spot where they had first said “I love you.” A place they visited often and meant the world to them. She must be beyond happy.

But the tears are not stopping. And… she’s not exactly smiling…

And she hasn’t said yes.

Jongin gets a sinking feeling in his chest as he stands up and envelopes her in a hug. “Jen— what’s going on? Are you okay?”

When she looks up at him, eyes still watery and full of guilt, trembling in his arms, he feels his heart break. Something in him knows. Before she even says it.

“I’m sorry, Jongin. I can’t do this to you. I-I cheated— have been cheating—” she can’t even finish her sentence. “I’m sorry! I never meant for it to happen like this. I care about you and— I was going to tell you today over lunch, but I was scared of how you would react and I didn’t want to ruin— Jongin!”

He’s walking away. His heartbeat shaking his chest. It’s all too familiar. It’s like his first break-up all over again. But this time, he doesn’t really blame Jennie. He probably should have known. No one looks at their best friend the way Jennie looks at Lisa. He feels silly that he didn’t put it together sooner.

A hollow laugh escapes him as he unlocks his car and slides into the front seat. He calmly buckles himself in and starts the engine, ignoring the overwhelming emotions rising up in his chest, the way he feels like he’s choking on unshed tears, and drives.

When his parents hear the news, they hear it from Jennie. Because they had been close enough, considered her their own daughter, and because Jongin is MIA for three days. They find him in his studio apartment in the city, wrapped up in his comforter and surviving off of nothing but pizza rolls and juice boxes. His mother hugs him hard while his dad works on cleaning the apartment and getting a bath running for his son. They don’t really say anything except that they’re there for him, that they’re sorry it turned out this way.

But Jongin is nearing 30 and he’s supposed to be married by now. He knows that it’s nagging at the back of their minds, so he’s not entirely surprised when they bring up an arranged marriage a few weeks later, when he’s a little more put together. Well,  _ physically _ .

“Okay.”

“Don’t you want to know a little about them?” His mother asks, gently setting a bowl of food in front of him. “You can go on a few dates. Maybe you’ll— you know? Connect?”

“I don’t really think I’m cut out for love,” Jongin sighs, pushing the rice around his bowl. He might be being a tad dramatic to anyone else, but Jongin has always been an emotional person. He feels strongly about people, loves with his whole heart and unconditionally. Having two heartbreaks with serious partners, both because of cheating, is the breaking point. “It’s probably best if I don’t get feelings involved. We just need someone with a good family background, right? And for tax purposes, I guess.”

His mother makes a distressed noise, but his father jumps in. “Jongin, you  _ do _ deserve love. We won’t force you into anything you don’t want or that won’t make you happy. You don’t have to get married if you’re not ready.”

Deep down, Jongin feels like  _ nothing _ could really make him happy again. But he knows his parents and they really will take his opinion into account. If he says no, they’ll let him be single forever. He’ll probably never get married. And they’ll secretly be left wanting for him to be settled like his elder sisters.

“I’ll do it,” he says, trying to sound confident. “I’ll be happy with this. Promise.”

He won’t, but they don’t need to know that. They’ve done so much for him. This is the least he can do.

His mother rests a hand on his. “Meet him just once and see how you feel. If it’s not ideal, then no worries, honey.”

Jongin nods, only slightly surprised to hear  _ him _ rather than  _ her _ .

Oh Sehun’s family is well-off, Jongin learns.

Actually, well-off is an understatement if their sprawling estate is anything to go by. It’s not like Jongin’s family isn’t, but it’s clear that the Oh’s wealth is nothing to scoff at. And it’s even more clear how beneficial this arrangement is when Mr. Oh greets Jongin’s father with the type of hug reserved for old friends.

“Sehun is just upstairs, first door on the left,” is the first thing Mr. Oh says to Jongin. “Why don’t you join him while your father and I catch up?”

Obediently, Jongin takes the winding staircase to the second floor of the house, following Mr. Oh’s instructions and knocking on a closed door. It’s opened a few seconds later by another man with dark hair dripping water onto a toned body and a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.

“Oh fuck. Sorry.”

Jongin quirks an eyebrow at the language and tries to keep his eyes from drifting too much. It’s not hard with such a pretty face to look at instead. “Sehun?”

“Ah, you’re the arranged marriage guy? Jungin?” (presumably) Sehun asks instead of answering, tightening his grip on the towel and moving aside to let Jongin in.

“Jongin,” he corrects briefly, stepping inside. At least, Sehun is attractive. Not that it matters at all. This is all just for convenience.

“Ah, sorry,” Sehun mumbles, rubbing a hand through his wet hair and sending droplets flying. “My meeting ran late and I wasn’t expecting you here so early… give me like ten minutes to get dressed.”

The man disappears into an adjoining room, coming out of it fully dressed a few minutes later. He’s wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants and Jongin has to fight off the urge to laugh. The t-shirt reads, “I’m street smart. Sesame Street.”

“I just have to be honest,” Sehun says as he takes a seat on his bed and gestures for Jongin to do the same. He looks all-business, even in his ridiculous outfit. “I’m going to say yes to this, no matter what. I don’t really care about anything except getting my parents to stop pestering me about marriage. I’ve always prioritized my job over this romance stuff, which is apparently the bane of my mother’s existence, but that’s just how I am. My job comes first for me, so don’t expect for this to be more than just a marriage of convenience. If that’s gonna be a problem for you, tell me now. We can refuse the proposal or arrange for you to have a secret someone on the side.”

Jongin blinks. Unexpected, but not an issue, at least. “It’s fine. I’m kind of in the same boat; I just want to get married already, for my parents’ sake. No romance is fine.”

Sehun looks pleased. “Sweet. That’s the easiest one of these setups has ever gone.” He glances at the alarm clock on the bedside table. “Well, we still have about thirty minutes before it would look normal to go back down, so I’m gonna get some work done. Feel free to watch TV or something.”

With a gesture at the remote on the bedside table, Sehun gets off the bed and goes to his desk. Jongin turns on the TV as per Sehun’s suggestion, but doesn’t bother watching it. Within seconds of sitting down, Sehun’s fingers are flying across the keyboard of his computer and it’s impossible to focus on anything else.

_ Don’t ask him what he’s doing. Do  _ not _ ask him what he is doing.  _ Because even one question is a slippery slope for Jongin into wanting to know more. _ Do not try to form a connection. Seriously, Jongin do not— _

“What do you do?” Jongin interrupts his inner monologue.

Sehun glances up with a confused look and Jongin hurriedly adds, “Not that I’m trying to get to know you… just, you know, curiosity kills the cat, or whatever.”

Sehun leans back in his chair a bit. “But satisfaction brings it back,” he finishes with a quirk of his lips. “It’s okay, I like talking about my work: I run a non-profit for LGBTQIA youth who need resources and support. We also host workshops for the kids, give them information in a safe and healthy way that they may not learn otherwise. I’ve always believed my dad’s money should go into something besides visits to the golfing range and top-shelf whiskey. What do  _ you _ do, Jongin?”

Something about the way Sehun asks him feels like a challenge.

“I dance,” Jongin says shortly, before feeling the need to expand. “Well, perform for the Korea National Ballet when they have performances in Seoul. I’ve been dancing since I was four.”

Sehun nods thoughtfully. “Cool. The arts are important. You should teach a class for the kids, if you’re up for it.”

With that, it seems that the conversation is over. Sehun turns back to his computer and reabsorbs himself in his work. Jongin pulls up Twitter and scrolls idly for the next twenty five minutes, occasionally glancing up at the TV. And definitely not looking at Sehun’s furrowed eyebrows and tapping fingers.

When they go downstairs, Sehun smiles widely for their parents and congratulates them on a match well-made.

Preparations for the engagement start almost immediately and Jongin gets swept up in it like a napkin in a tornado. It seems as if they’re sending out invitations to at least a fifth of the South Korean population.

Sehun is surprisingly active in the planning, though Jongin quickly realizes it’s just to keep up appearances. He catches a break in the facade one day when Sehun is gushing over his mother’s color choices. However, when they meet gazes across the table, Sehun rolls his eyes dramatically and Jongin coughs violently to hide a laugh. Mrs. Oh shoots up in her seat and begins to fawn over him, asking if Jongin needs water or tea because,  “We can’t have you getting sick before the engagement!”

Jongin begins to pick up other things about Sehun between their meetings. It’s in Jongin’s nature to be curious and emotionally adept, even when he is not supposed to be.

He notes how Sehun keeps his phone close, always answering emails or coordinating some event or workshop. He never hesitates to jump up when there’s an emergency, but also never forgets to drop a kiss on his mother’s forehead before leaving, always promising to be back soon.

Speaking of which, he lies a lot. Usually harmless, little white lies— the kind you tell people to put them at ease. He  _ never _ gets back soon and Jongin begins to wonder if the work emergencies are just his out when he’s tired of acting interested in this whole drama.

But Sehun  _ is _ passionate about what he does. Jongin has heard him on phone calls. Has heard when he talks about the struggles of growing up gay, as he tries to empathize with kids or convince whoever is on the other end of the call to contribute to his cause. Has heard how much he wants to create a safe space for kids who still don’t feel accepted or understood. How much he would have valued those spaces growing up.

Eventually, he asks Jongin, “I’m going to a little blunt here but… you are gay, right? I mean, I assume you must be attracted to men or your parents wouldn’t have suggested this.”

Jongin sets down the catalogue he’s supposed to pick a suit out of. “I’ve only ever had two serious relationships, both with women,” Jongin starts, looking around nervously. Talking about his sexuality has always been difficult. Luckily, Sehun’s mother had just left the dining room table (which had become engagement planning central) to fix up a quick lunch for them. “But I had a few crushes on guys growing up that my parents knew about and I fooled around with a few guy friends in uni. I’ve thought that I’m bi or pan, but I feel like I can’t put a label on it when my only  _ real _ experience is with women.”

“You don’t have to put a label on anything until you want to,” Sehun says in a voice that Jongin has come to identify as his ‘counselor’ voice that he uses for struggling youths. It makes Jongin feel young, even though he’s technically a couple months older than Sehun. “And your feelings are valid, no matter your experiences. It’s nice that your parents are cool about it, though. It took some time for me to talk about it with mom and dad, but they came around... obviously. And now their support rivals even mine.”

At their engagement party, Sehun kisses Jongin in front of hundreds of people.

They had talked about it before. Sehun had wanted everything to seem legitimate. And they would have to kiss at the wedding anyway, might as well make it look natural.

But Jongin did not expect such an electrifying kiss from someone who seemed to want nothing to do with love and— most importantly— him.

Sehun’s kiss leaves him shaking in his Gucci dress shoes as they make their rounds through the venue to greet their guests. The only thing keeping him up is the strong arm around his waist that kept him pressed into his now-fiancé’s side.

“Are you okay?” Sehun whispers into his ear at one point, as they’re in a conversation with a few of his mother’s relatives. Jongin feels a violent shiver go down his spine as the younger’s warm breath ghosts over his neck. “You seem tense.”

Jongin nods, curling in on himself as he whispers back, “I think I’m starting to feel the champagne, but I’m okay.”

“Do you want to sit down?” Sehun suggests, gesturing to the table reserved especially for the newly engaged couple. “We can get you some water and food.”

Jongin nods in response; having a chair under him will eliminate the need for Sehun’s arm and perhaps give him some breathing room. He allows Sehun to excuse them from the conversation and lead him to the aforementioned seats. He waves down one of the caterers at the same time and asks them to bring over a plate for them.

Once he’s in a seat and not touching Sehun, Jongin feels a bit more relaxed. Even Sehun looks glad to have escaped mundane conversations, sagging into his own chair in relief and smiling politely when someone makes eye contact with him. The exhaustion in his eyes is still clear, though.

“Do you ever get tired of pretending?” Jongin asks before he can stop himself.

Sehun startles, whipping his head to meet Jongin’s eyes, “What?”

Honestly, even Jongin feels uneasy at his own question after asking it so bluntly. He hadn’t meant for it to come out quite like that, but he can’t stop himself either in his rush to explain, “I just mean, you act like this is important to you, but it isn’t really, is it?”

The server comes by with a plate of food for them and his timing is opportune considering that Sehun is just staring at Jongin, silent and analytical. It isn’t until the man has set down two glasses of water and left them that Sehun finally addresses the question.

“You’re right: the fanfare, these guests, this engagement, none of that is important to me,” Sehun sighs, head dropping a bit and a strand of hair drifts from its perfectly coiffed position into his eyes. Jongin is half-tempted to push it back into place and has to distract himself by reaching for the water instead. “But my family has a… I guess you could say, a standard for happiness. _Love_ makes one happy. Getting married would make one happy. And to make  _ them _ happy, I don’t mind acting like this is something that _I’m_ happy about.

“But honestly, I have never had the same definition of happiness they have,” he continues, lifting his head a little to look around them. “Love and marriage weren't options— especially when most of your childhood is spent hearing that the  _ way _ you love is wrong. So, I thought it would be easier to ignore that aspect altogether and find other avenues of happiness. I focused my energy into something else: my job and helping kids accept themselves in a way that I still struggle with sometimes. And, at some point, it became my whole thing and love really just wasn’t that important anymore, even when my parents became more accepting. I get so much joy out of what I do that I’ve never felt the need for anything else or any other avenue of happiness.”

Sehun turns to face Jongin, his expression unreadable, though it tugs at Jongin’s heartstrings. “Is that a good enough answer?”

Jongin can only nod.

Wedding planning turns out to be simultaneously more-relaxing and more-aggravating than the engagement. On the one hand, they have more time to make arrangements and there’s an actual planner involved, instead of just Mrs. Oh. On the other, there are  _ so many more _ arrangements to be made and Jongin is now being nagged at by one more person to pick out a suitable pair of shoes. Jongin finds himself at the Oh’s more than his own place or his parents’, coming directly after practices. The first time he stays past 10pm, Mr. Oh recommends Jongin sleep over in his son’s room.

“Sehun won’t be home till later,” he explains, pushing Jongin up the stairs before he can protest. “He had some dinner party that I’m sure has turned into a poker night by now. And I’m sure he won’t mind seeing you in his bed. You can borrow his clothes to sleep in, too.”

Jongin can’t even argue as the door to Sehun’s room closes behind Mr. Oh and he’s left staring at the queen bed that he has not sat on since the first time meeting Sehun.

Realizing there isn’t much he can do at this point— he’s so tired as it is and just ready to sleep— Jongin strips down. He finds a pair of sweatpants and a shirt that will fit him well enough. There are spare toothbrushes and a mild face wash in the medicine cabinet. And Sehun’s bed is quite comfortable, if a little firm. He finds himself knocked out within seconds of making contact with the mattress.

Jongin’s deep, peaceful sleep is only disturbed when he hears the bedroom door thrown open, but his eyes and body are too heavy to investigate. Only his ears perk up as he hears someone stumble a bit and fall into something with a soft curse. He hears nothing for a bit before the unmistakable zip of a zipper being undone echoes in his ears and clothes hit the floor.

“Fuck,” Sehun grumbles to himself as he trips again and Jongin faintly smells alcohol. He hears the click of the bathroom light and fan being turned on and few more bumps and curses.

Jongin wonders if he should get up and help, maybe check in on what seems to be a drunk, disoriented Sehun. But even the smallest gesture can lead to Jongin spiralling into caring and he doesn’t want to be the only one who cares in a relationship again. Sehun is a grown man who can take care of himself.

And take care of himself he does, as the other man finally flops down on the other side of the bed with a soft groan. Jongin hears nothing but heavy breathing for a bit and then another groan.

“Fuck,” Sehun moans and Jongin picks up on— oh. Oh god.

Sehun is touching himself.

Sehun is touching himself and making sounds that have Jongin struggling to stay still as he feels himself stiffen in his— Sehun’s— sweatpants.

It’s a natural reaction. It’s been months since Jongin’s been with anyone and he hasn’t had much time to masturbate between work and wedding plans. He tries to sneakily press a hand between his legs and ignore, ignore, ignore.

Sehun is pretty quiet, but every once in a while there’s a sharp inhale or a shaky exhale or a groan muffled by fabric. Jongin feels a shiver go down his spine, right to his dick with each small noise and has to bite his lip to keep quiet, grateful that he’s facing away from Sehun.

“Oh shit,” Sehun murmurs, almost imperceptible, if not for the slight jerk of his hips against the bed. Jongin tastes blood with the way his teeth bite into his bottom lip when it dawns on him that Sehun’s just cum and he feels his own cock twitch desperately, feeling the precum drip down the head.

Eventually, Sehun’s heavy breathing evens out, until it seems that he’s asleep. But Jongin is wide awake and frozen in uncertainty.

At least he now knows that Sehun is a horny drunk.

Fortunately, there are no other embarrassing masturbatory incidents leading up to the wedding. Though Sehun does seem more distanced than before, barely talking to Jongin until the day of their matrimony is upon them. He fist bumps him and says, “Let’s get this over with” right before they separate to take their places for the ceremony.

The venue for their wedding is enormous, boasting hundreds seats, all occupied by family, friends, and some people Jongin has never seen before in his life. Every inch is decorated in white, blue, and gold, down to the utensils and the details on their suits. A beautiful melody floats through the air followed by angelic voices, courtesy of Sehun’s musically-talented college friends. His mother and father are beaming, unshed tears causing their eyes to glisten, so happy for their son as he and his future-husband walk down opposite sides of the venue to meet in the center of the hall.

It could be anyone’s perfect wedding.

But Jongin is not in love, so it’s not.

When the first tear drips down his face, everyone else in the hall thinks it’s because he’s overcome with joy. The fact that not one of them knows the truth makes him want to cry harder.

When he meets Sehun in the middle where the officiant is waiting for them, he receives a gentle smile and a hand brushing away the tears on his cheeks. Sehun leans down to whisper, so only Jongin can hear, “Nice job.”

He must make a convincing actor.

After he’s taken a few deep breaths, the officiant begins the ceremony. Jongin barely focuses on her words, trying to maintain eye contact with Sehun through more tears. When she asks if Jongin takes Sehun as his husband, he pauses for a second too long and the younger squeezes his hands in reminder.

“I do.” The words feel so wrong. Jongin can’t help but feel like he’s choking them out. He wants it all to stop, like a bad dream. This is not how he had imagined his life going… not how he had imagined this moment. For years, he had dreamt about it with two other people, both of whom had ended up betraying his trust. He feels bile rise in his throat and swallows quickly, throat clicking after sobbing so hard. At least, Sehun seems incapable of hurting him, but they are also incapable of loving each other, and isn’t that just as bad? A life without love is still a life without love, no matter the context.

“And do you, Oh Sehun, take Kim Jongin as your husband?”

“I do.” Quickly, because this is Sehun’s ticket to never having to hear his parents ask him about love or marriage again. His ticket to leaving their house and doing whatever he wants. Jongin wishes he could be that detached from all of this.

“I now pronounce you partners. You may kiss each other.”

Not even the passionate press of Sehun’s lips against his own can calm Jongin because  _ this is not love _ . His anxiety bubbles up in his throat and when they separate and open their eyes, Jongin feels so light-headed he thinks he might pass out. The applause and cheers are thunderous in his ears and his knees buckle a bit before Sehun snatches his waist and holds him up, disguising it as a loving embrace.

The officiant takes over to announce that drinks will be served in the foyer while the room is set up for the reception and Sehun checks to see if Jongin can walk before hauling him away to the rooms at the back of the venue where they had spent the morning getting ready.

Once the door clicks shut behind them and Jongin is seated, Sehun gives him a huge smile. “Well, that went well! But are you okay? You kind of fell at the end there. Do you need water?”

Jongin nods wordlessly and Sehun brings him a bottle of water from a nearby vanity. Only after he’s had a sip does he speak.

“I wasn’t acting.”

“… What do you mean?”

Jongin lifts his face to meet Sehun’s confused gaze. “I just got married to someone I don’t love. Something I never thought I would have to do. Those tears were real.”

Sehun takes a seat as well, observing Jongin carefully. “You know that you agreed to this, right? No one was forcing your hand.” The words aren’t unkind, just matter-of-fact. “I can’t say I understand how you feel and, as much as I would like to comfort you, I can’t say I’m necessarily sorry for you either… you chose this, Jongin.”

Jongin can’t say anything to combat that. He  _ knows _ that this was his choice. If anything, he was an active participant. But it still fucking  _ hurts _ . He had had dreams about his wedding, about the love of his life. Everything seems to have turned sideways from his imagination.

“Anyway, it’s done with now,” Sehun sighs, standing up again. “Let’s freshen up for the reception. I’ll send for some food now, since I’m sure we’ll end up taking more pictures than eating.”

Sehun moves into Jongin’s apartment within the week and they don’t talk about Jongin’s breakdown again.

It’s a wonder that Sehun doesn’t have his own place, considering how loaded his parents are, but he explains that they are rather attached to their youngest son. Part of the reason he had wanted to get married was to finally move out of their house and escape their loving clutches. It was literally written into a contract they had drafted for the conditions of his marriage.

All of Jongin’s things are still in their place, but now bits of Sehun are littered around the apartment. His PRIDE magnet displayed on the fridge, holding up a flyer for his non-profit’s next workshop. A desk squeezed into the spare bedroom for him to work from home. A throw blanket on the couch for when he falls asleep watching TV after a long day.

An extra pillow in Jongin’s bed.

Jongin kind of wishes he hadn’t told Sehun to “make himself at home” because— while everything else is bearable— laying in the same bed can only remind him of  _ that _ night. He’s having trouble sleeping because every time he reclines next to Sehun, all he can think about is how turned on he had been. Then he gets hard and has to run to the bathroom for a late night shower.

He’s sure Sehun knows what’s happening by now, concerning his masturbatory habits. He’s not exactly  _ quiet _ . Maybe part of him is secretly hoping that Sehun will come in and help him out. But it’s definitely  _ not _ romantic. Just sexual.

The building suspicions and tensions break when they’re sitting together one night in the living room. It’s been almost two months living together with limited contact and tiptoeing around each other, though they’re starting to at least be a little friendly. Sehun is watching an English movie with the subtitles on and audio off. Jongin is stretching out his legs after an intense dance practice. He normally would have stretched before leaving the studio, but he had already been running late for dinner and felt bad keeping Sehun waiting.

No matter how many times Jongin told him that they didn’t have to eat together, Sehun kept insisting on it. But if he was made to wait even a little, he would act like he was starving, usually consuming the equivalent of two portions. It was a wonder he stayed so fit, despite it; Jongin had never actually seen him work out.

While Jongin is bent over at the waist, touching his toes and trying to work out the stiffness in his body, Sehun suddenly speaks up.

“You know, if you need to masturbate before bed, you should. I can just wait out here for a bit.”

Jongin freezes, suddenly feeling exposed in his position. He slowly straightens himself, but does not dare to turn and face Sehun. Part of him thinks,  _ where is this coming from? _ But he knows he’s not subtle and some unknown tension has been building for a while, so he secretly also thinks,  _ Yes, yes, finally _ .

“I— ”

“Unless you can only cum to the thought of me in your bed?”

Jongin really can’t control it. He’s a sucker for dirty talk and the way Sehun says it so bluntly, so confidently, has his cock twitching against his pants and him gasping out loud erotically enough that it could be a full-on moan.

The living room goes dead quiet— as if it wasn’t quiet enough already— and Jongin can definitively say that he has never wished for the TV to be unmuted more in his life. He feels a flush rise on his cheeks, face burning. He has no clue what to do, feeling like prey in a nature documentary unaware of a creeping predator.

He hears the soft creak of Sehun standing from the couch and taking a step towards him. “Let me try something?”

Jongin can’t bring himself to agree verbally so he just nods his head.

With no warning, Sehun presses the hard line of his body to Jongin’s and Jongin lets out a pitiful whimper at the feeling of Sehun’s hard cock against his ass.

“You know, we said no romance. But if you needed to get fucked this badly, you could have just told me,” Sehun’s breath brushes over Jongin’s ear, causing him to squirm. The movement causes his hips to rock back and they both groan at the brief sensation.

Sehun is about to pull away but Jongin is desperate when he reaches back to keep Sehun close. He doesn’t even know when or how his inhibitions dropped so low.

“I need you to fuck me.”

“No, duh,” Sehun snorts, shoving Jongin’s leggings down right there in the middle of their living room and bending him over till he’s touching his toes again. “If you want to stop or slow down, give me a color. You’re familiar with the traffic light system, yeah?”

Jongin exhales in a rush, “Yes.”

“Good. If you can’t speak, three taps on my leg or arm. Is dirty talk okay?”

_ More than okay. _ “Yes,” Jongin repeats like it’s the only word he knows.

“Where’s your lube?”

“Bathroom. Medicine cabinet. Third shelf behind the deodorant.”

“Good boy. Don’t move a muscle.”

Jongin obeys, even as his body aches from the position he’s in. It feels like hours before Sehun returns and carefully, but efficiently, fingers him open, ignoring Jongin’s needy whimpers and whines and curses. He avoids the dancer’s prostate but Jongin’s toes are still curling from the intensity of having something inside of him for the first time in forever. Neither of his previous relationships had been into ass play, not that he’d felt confident enough to bring it up in the first place. He had forgotten how good it feels, how sensitive he is.

Suddenly, Sehun’s fingers are slipping out and Jongin’s gaping hole is clenching around nothing. Sehun lets out a rough laugh and brings a firm hand down on Jongin’s ass, eliciting a small yelp.

“God, if I had known you were such a slut, I would have fucked you sooner.”

Jongin can only let out a broken noise as he clutches his ankles, still bent in half and distraught that Sehun isn’t inside of him yet. When a few minutes go by and he can feel lube dripping out of his hole, but nothing pushing it back in, he whines, “Pl-please, Sehun. Please fuck me. Please. Plea—”

The rest of his begging is broken off when Sehun slides into him slowly. It feels like forever until he’s bottomed out and allows Jongin to straighten out before he starts fucking his ass in earnest. His speed is mind-melting and Jongin has never felt so  _ dirty  _ and  _ used _ in his life. He tries to reach back and slow Sehun down before he cums too fast all over the rug, but Sehun grabs his hands and holds them behind his back, using them as leverage to fuck him harder, if that was even possible.

“Mmm, look at you taking me so well. And here I was thinking that I’d have to start finding someone else to fuck. I didn’t even realize there was a  _ slut _ sleeping beside me every night. You must have been aching to get fucked by me for a while, huh? You could’ve just asked nicely, baby. I would’ve given you my cock.”

Something about the combination of Sehun’s tone, the filthy words leaving his mouth, and the breakneck speed that has his cock ramming into Jongin’s prostate every other thrust has Jongin cumming untouched out of nowhere. Sehun fucks him through it and then beyond it, watching Jongin’s body shudder beautifully as the oversensitivity has his eyes rolling back.

Just when it seems like he’s intent on pushing Jongin into another orgasm, Sehun stops and pulls out, finishing all over Jongin’s ass, some of it landing on the rim of his stretched out hole. Jongin is almost mad Sehun didn’t cum inside, but he can’t focus on that when his legs are shaking like they’re about to give out. The only thing keeping him from collapsing is the firm grip on his arms.

Once it seems that Sehun has caught his breath, he turns Jongin around and looks him over. Jongin has a fucked-out look on his face, lips slightly parted and eyes wide, a blush darkening his cheeks. “You okay? I got a little caught up in the moment and forgot to check in… you submitted a little too easily.”

Jongin nods shortly before remembering his voice. “Yeah… I just… it was really good. I thought you were going to make me cum again.”

Sehun gives him a genuine smile and it catches Jongin off-guard. “I wanted to. But I didn’t ask you about your limits and was worried that you wouldn’t safe word out— or wouldn’t be able to, if you had to. And it’s been a while since I’ve played with anyone like that.” He drags a hand through Jongin’s hair and Jongin wants to melt into the touch. “Come on. Let me clean you up.”

Jongin lets Sehun take over again, basically on auto-pilot as he goes to wet a washcloth and gently cleans Jongin up.

“Thank you,” Jongin mumbles once he’s dressed in comfortable pajamas and tucked into bed with a glass of water. He feels a little better now, a little more himself, but he still feels like something is missing. He can’t put his finger on it until Sehun changes as well and climbs in next to him. The younger picks up his phone and starts scrolling and Jongin feels a heavy weight in his chest.

He doesn’t want to say it, because he knows that sex is just sex. And he shouldn’t be too greedy. But Sehun must feel the weight of his gaze because he turns to give him a questioning look. “Do you need something?”

Well, if Sehun is asking. “I feel… can you hold me?” Jongin whispers and it comes out in a rush, scared of being rejected. “I… I’m feeling…” he doesn’t know how to explain it, so he makes a frustrated noise instead.

Immediately, Sehun’s eyes soften. “Oh. Aftercare? You like cuddling?”

Jongin nods. That’s what it’s called. “I’m not trying to… I just need to be held for a little.”

Sehun shakes his head. “No, no. I got it. Come here.”

It takes no time at all for Jongin to climb into Sehun’s outspread arms, resting his head against a firm chest and allowing Sehun’s steady heartbeat to lull him to sleep.

They start fucking often, after that. At least once a week, if not more. Sehun takes the time to establish limits and boundaries before their second time and they come up with better safe words and alternatives when they can’t speak. The aftercare gets better— not that Sehun has much of a choice when Jongin practically crawls into his arms and starts purring like a goddamn kitten after every session. They still maintain their emotionally distant, non-relationship, though. As soon as they both feel better, hands return to their owners and they roll away from each other.

Though, they still keep the atmosphere friendly. It’s hard not to when the only people they really see outside of their jobs are each other. They still eat their meals together and spend their off-time in the same room, laughing at each other’s jokes or Sehun bouncing ideas off Jongin for programs and workshops. Sometimes, they go for walks in the park near their apartment, people-watching until one of them sees something particularly strange and points it out to the other. They pick up street food before going home, trying to see who can eat the most spicy rice cakes in one sitting. Sehun usually wins because he has a garbage pit for a stomach and Jongin still needs to watch his diet for ballet. But when he gets a break from dancing, they have a fried chicken eating contest which Jongin wins by a landslide and Sehun just smiles as Jongin gloats.

Almost five months into their marriage, Sehun asks to see Jongin dance and Jongin adamantly refuses, too shy when he’s off-stage. He doesn’t need to accidentally trip in front of Sehun and embarrass himself.

“I guess I’ll just have to sneak in and watch you, then,” Sehun huffs, turning his attention back to the movie they’re watching.

Jongin dismisses the comment until his next performance, when Sehun shows up backstage with a bouquet of flowers and a cocky grin.

“Who let you in?” Jongin asks, instead of a reasonable greeting.

Jongdae, one of the stage managers, laughs into his fist and raises his hand guiltily from a few feet away. “I know Sehun from high school, but I didn’t know you got married to him! Small world! Also, thanks for the invite.”

Because Jongin had barely invited any of his friends to their wedding, but he’s not going to say that out loud. Instead, he flips Jongdae off and edges closer to Sehun who holds out the flowers.

“You were great. I can’t believe you didn’t want me to see that,” he compliments as Jongin accepts the bouquet and takes a sniff.

“I didn’t believe you actually wanted to see a performance,” Jongin sighs. “Or that you would sit through the whole thing. You never finish movies once you’ve predicted the end.”

Sehun shrugs with a playful grin, “I managed. Plus, movies don’t have dancing like  _ that _ . I swear, you were floating at one point.”

Jongin clutches the flowers to his chest more tightly and tries to ignore the heat crawling up his neck. He quickly changes the subject so he can’t focus on Sehun’s compliments. “You also didn’t have to bring flowers. No one here knows we’re married— well,  _ knew _ , I’m sure Jongdae’s busy spreading the news now.”

Something flicks across Sehun’s expression, but it’s gone before Jongin can put too much meaning into it. “They’re congratulatory! When I told the lady at the flower shop about you and your performance, she recommended peonies and gardenias. Do you like them?”

They smelled wonderful and looked even more so. Elegantly wrapped in a satin ribbon. Jongin loves them. “They’re nice, but I don’t have any spare vases in the apartment.”

“Well, since I happen to live with you and have excellent observational skills, I picked up a vase on my way, too,” Sehun remarks jocularly. “It’s in the car, whenever you’re ready to head back.”

Ah.

“Actually, the performers are going out for a celebratory dinner. I-I was planning on joining them,” Jongin explains hesitantly. He feels bad, especially since Sehun had come  _ just _ to see him.

It’s hard to miss the change in Sehun’s expression this time. He looks like a kicked puppy, but he’s trying hard to hide it. “Oh, yeah. No problem. Do you want me to, uh, take the flowers back home and set them up?”

Jongin bites his bottom lip, cradling the bouquet closer and pondering for a second. He looks down into the white center of a gardenia, surrounded by the pale pink petals of peonies and makes a decision. “No, it’s okay. I mean— I’ll just come back with you. Celebratory dinners are kind of tiring, anyway. Everyone gets too drunk and I end up having to play mom. Let me just let them know before we leave.”

He doesn’t have to look up to see Sehun’s smile. “Sure. I’ll meet you by the entrance?”

With a brief nod, they separate. Jongin’s feet automatically carry him to the dressing room where the other dancers are milling about, displaying the flowers almost proudly in the crook of his arms as he calls out, “Hey everyone. I think I’m gonna have to skip out on dinner tonight, but congrats on a show well done! I’ll see you all next week!”

The sentiment is echoed back, peppered with a few teasing remarks about the flowers and extremely belated congratulations on his wedding. Jongdae never could keep his mouth shut about anything.

Sehun is waiting by the entrance as promised, eyes crinkling when he sees Jongin and offering an arm to him as they walk to his car. Jongin briefly pats himself on the back for taking the bus because Sehun’s car is a treat to sit in and it would have been awkward to drive back separately. As Sehun starts the car and taps in the navigation for Jongin’s apartment, he asks, “Since we’re celebrating you, and I know you’ve been suffering from your strict ass diet, wanna order fried chicken tonight?”

Jongin groans out loud. “Oh my god,  _ yes _ . You read my mind.”

Sehun snorts. “You make noises like that and I’m gonna end up fucking you in the backseat. Give them a call now so it’ll be on the way when we get home.”

It’s said so casually, so naturally, that Jongin almost forgets they’re not in a steady relationship, that this is just physical. Showing up at Jongin’s dance practice is just a friendly thing, or a way to keep up appearances.

Even if Sehun had brought flowers.

And Jongin had ditched dinner with his friends to spend time with Sehun.

And the way Sehun says “home” sends a warm feeling through Jongin’s chest.

Shaking his head clear, Jongin picks up his phone and calls the chicken place. They get home with twenty minutes till it’ll be delivered so Sehun fucks him over the kitchen counter, whispering about how good of a dancer he is, how flexible he is, how he looks beautiful on stage but even more beautiful on Sehun’s cock.

And when the food arrives, Sehun pays while Jongin washes up and they eat on the couch and debate if Prince Siegfried thinking Odette is beautiful in swan form means that he’s into bestiality. Jongin vehemently denies it, defending his character’s pride, but Sehun makes ridiculous arguments just to get under his skin.

They’re keeping it cool and casual. Casual and cool.

Until they don’t.

It happens following a particularly intense evening when Sehun fucks three orgasms out of Jongin. Jongin is trembling at the end of it, but in a good way, blissed out and soft with sleepy eyes and a dopey smile stuck on his face. Overstimulation is quickly becoming a favorite between them.

After, while they're watching a movie on the couch, Jongin tucked firmly into Sehun’s side as the younger pets his head. It’s almost been fifteen minutes, and Jongin is still feeling floaty. He tightens his grip in Sehun’s shirt and buries his face in the other man’s neck, taking in deep lungfuls of Sehun’s cologne.

“Are you okay, baby?” Sehun asks gently. These are the only moments when Sehun calls him baby and Jongin can’t help but wish he said it all the time. He wishes this moment could never end, so he could stay in Sehun’s arms forever. It’s the subspace talking, but Jongin knows deep down he’s forming an attachment outside of the sex.

But he can’t be bothered with that right now. “Can I get some chocolate milk?”

“Of course. Is it okay if I let go of you to get it?”

“Mmm… carry me with you.”

It’s a ridiculous request and Jongin would not have asked if he didn’t have the excuse of subspace on his side. He honestly doesn’t even expect Sehun to do it, maybe laugh and convince him to sit patiently on the couch for a bit.

So he yelps out loud when Sehun sits up, keeping a firm grip under Jongin’s thighs and encouraging Jongin to wrap his legs around his waist. Once Jongin is secure, he carries him to the kitchen and opens the fridge with one hand, pulling out a carton of chocolate milk. He keeps his lips pressed to Jongin’s neck, right above his pulse, the entire way and Jongin hopes he can’t sense the way his heart rate picks up. When Sehun brings them back to the couch, he pokes the straw into the carton and holds it up to Jongin’s mouth.

Jongin takes a few tentative sips before looking up at Sehun.

“Is it good?”

Jongin nods, unable to look away from Sehun’s face. The other man looks so kind— angelic, even— like he would give Jongin the world if he asked for it.

“Can I taste?”

With another nod, Jongin turns the straw so it faces him, but Sehun ignores it and leans in to kiss Jongin’s lips instead. His tongue swipes across the plump bottom lip— still bitten red from the way he had attacked them earlier— and Jongin whines, but Sehun is already pulling away again.

“Hm, it  _ is _ good,” Sehun smiles, his hold on Jongin’s waist tightening a bit to pull him further onto his lap. “Thank you for sharing, baby.”

He gives Jongin another kiss and then another and another. Jongin feels waves of warmth wash over him with every touch, allowing his hands to slide into Sehun’s hair. He leans back as Sehun starts kissing down his neck, just soft kisses peppering his skin. Sehun can’t keep his hands off of him and Jongin doesn’t want him to let go either.

He loves this. The way Sehun makes him feel. And it’s started to branch out beyond sexually. He loves the little moments, like when Sehun has to leave for work early and they can’t eat breakfast together, but he’ll leave a little sticky note next to Jongin’s plate with an apology and encouragement for the day. Or how he’ll laugh obnoxiously loud when they’re watching Netflix or point out plot holes and Jongin throws popcorn at him in retribution. Or the times when he steals Jongin’s socks and then insists that  _ no, these are definitely my own socks _ . Or when he puts his all into his work, leaning over his computer late into the night on the couch, with his throw blanket wrapped around him. And Jongin— usually waking up to get water— yawns and tells him to  _ come and sleep already _ . And only then will Sehun close his laptop and walk back to their bed and be snoring softly within seconds, because he really is tired.

_ Oh god, _ Jongin realizes distantly as Sehun nuzzles further into his neck. He loves Sehun. Or, at least, really likes him. More than the normal amount of like.

The dawning realization is enough to yank him out of his floaty headspace as he withdraws from Sehun’s embrace and breathlessly utters, “Stop.”

The sensation of Sehun’s lips leaving his neck makes him want to cry, but if they keep going, Jongin will only cry harder. He knows Sehun will never like him like that. He can’t go around getting his heart broken  _ again _ . He has to cut it off now, before it blossoms into something too good to be gone.

Sehun seems surprised as Jongin scrambles to put distance between them, hands momentarily letting go so Jongin can stand up. “Hey, hey, calm down. Is everything okay?”

“I- I need— I have to—”

Jongin backs up, nearly hitting the coffee table, if not for Sehun reaching out to stop him. Jongin pulls away harshly from the contact. Before Sehun can ask any more questions, he grabs his keys and a coat.

“Wait! Jongin, you can’t leave the house in this state— ”

The rest of Sehun’s words are cut off as Jongin slams the front door closed and makes his way to the elevators, pressing the down button like his life depends on it. It arrives a few seconds later and he gets inside, pressing the “Ground Floor” and “Close Door” buttons at the same time.

“Jongin, please— ”

Sehun appears around the corner just as the doors slide shut and Jongin starts his descent. In the quiet of the elevator, Jongin can finally breathe a little, but that means the adrenaline that carried him out of the apartment wears off. He finds himself collapsing on the floor of the lift— legs too weak to support himself— and sobbing. His heart clenches in his chest and it feels like heartbreak all over again, except he was never in a relationship with Sehun and this was never supposed to be like this. His body shakes uncontrollably from head to toe and all he can think about is how he’ll never be loved. No one wants him. And he must be broken somehow. Love is conditional and he doesn’t meet the conditions.

A hiccuping sob escapes him and the ache in his chest spreads. He can’t believe he allowed himself to ever get this close to Sehun. They never should have slept together. He should have kept his distance, thrown his walls up the second Sehun approached him. He shouldn’t have gotten married. He shouldn’t have gotten comfortable. And he never would have, if he had known it would break his heart again.

He’s so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear the elevator ding or notice the doors slide open.

“Oh, baby.”

Sehun sounds like as much of a wreck as Jongin feels. When Jongin looks up at him through damp lashes, he sees just how out of breath Sehun is— no doubt having sprinted down the stairs to reach the ground floor before Jongin. Sehun steps into the elevator, closing the doors and selecting their floor, before kneeling down next to Jongin.

“Is it okay if I hold you, Jongin?”

Jongin just cries harder. How can Sehun be so detached as to offer him physical comfort without any emotion behind it? He doesn’t really care about Jongin, so why should this even matter? Sehun should just leave Jongin, like everyone else he’s loved.

“I do care about you, baby,” Sehun refutes softly and Jongin realizes he’s said it out loud. “And I don’t want to leave you. You’re so good for me, so sweet. I only want to give you the best things in the world. But I can’t give it to you if I can’t hold you. Are you okay with that?”

Jongin hiccups. He doesn’t want Sehun’s empty hugs, but he also doesn’t want to be alone. Reluctantly, he nods and reaches out.

Sehun immediately draws him into his arms, picking him up as he had done only moments before. Jongin buries his face in the crook between one of Sehun’s broad shoulders and his neck while Sehun’s big warm hands come up to stroke up and down his back, even threading through his hair. “That’s it, honey. I’ve got you. I’m here for you.” He drops a kiss to Jongin’s head and coos gently, “My baby. I’m sorry if I scared you. Did I kiss you somewhere you didn’t like? Or were you just feeling overwhelmed after our scene?”

If only it was that simple, Jongin thinks. He knows Sehun doesn’t expect a reply right away, especially since they’re now in the hallway leading to their apartment. Sehun whispers comforting words and encourages Jongin to talk when he feels ready the entire way.

Jongin only finds his words once they’re laying in bed, surrounded by soft blankets and fluffy pillows. Sehun still hasn’t let go of him. “I was worried and scared.”

“What got you worried?” Sehun asks, brushing Jongin’s hair out of his eyes.

Jongin wants to cry again because this is so embarrassing. He doesn’t want to admit his feelings. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s the idiot for doing the one thing they had agreed to not do. But something about the warmth in Sehun’s tone and the jumbled mess in his head makes him want to confess everything in a rush.

“I- the way you were kissing me. It felt like this is all something more and I think I like you a lot, but I know you don’t do love and we agreed that this wouldn’t be that. But the more time I spend with you, I can’t help it. And I thought you would never like me and I’d have to be heartbroken again or things would get awkward. And I didn’t want you to hate me and leave me, so I thought it was better if I left before it became too much.”

The only sound for a while is Jongin’s unsteady breathing. Then, Sehun hums thoughtfully, “And where were you gonna go, baby?”

“I don’t know,” Jongin whines, realizing he had never thought that far. “Just away. But then I couldn’t move in the elevator and I panicked and felt worse and worse and… Sehun? Do you hate me?”

Sehun is silent for a second, a thumb idly stroking Jongin’s cheek. His face is so relaxed and serene, a clear contrast to how Jongin is feeling. “Quite the opposite, baby. I like you so much— have for a long time, actually— but I didn’t fully realize that’s what it was until now. I think I started liking you the first time I slept with you,” Sehun confesses, his cheeks coloring the slightest bit.

Baffled, Jongin sniffles. “When we had sex in the living room?”

His husband hides a smile, turning away for a second to get his expression under control. “I meant at my parent’s house. When I came home late and drunk and you were asleep in my bed, all I could think about then was how cute you were and how much I wanted to kiss you. And then— and I’m really sorry about this— I was so turned on that I had to get myself off, thinking about you, while you were right next to me. At the time, I was hoping I could get those feelings out of my system, but I think it only led me closer to this moment.” Sehun caresses Jongin’s face again, expression reverent as his thumb drifts to tug at Jongin’s lower lip. “I wish I had acknowledged my feelings sooner, but I kept pushing them down because I didn’t want to break my own rule. How silly of me, huh?”

Jongin flushes as he recalls the night. “I… I was awake that night.” Sehun startles. “And I heard you… I… I got hard.” Jongin ducks his head into the firm chest in front him shamefully, the surface vibrating as Sehun chuckles.

“Oh, Jongin, baby. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Sehun croons, hands sliding into Jongin’s hair to hold him closer. His chest shudders against Jongin's cheek as he laments, “I’m just upset that I let my own stubbornness get in the way. We could have been doing all of this for so much longer… and maybe our wedding would’ve been a happier day. I’m sorry, Jongin.”

Jongin sighs, feeling himself calm down as he listens to Sehun’s confession and settles further into his husband’s warmth. “You can’t only blame yourself. I was being just as stubborn and was scared of being vulnerable with someone again. I mean, look at what happened today. If you had tried to confess to me that early on, I probably would have backed out of getting married; I wasn’t exactly in the state of mind to be trusting anyone with my heart then. Being cheated on  _ twice _ didn’t make it easy,” Jongin laughs bitterly, feeling Sehun tense up a bit in response. “I didn’t— and still don’t— want to be the one who gets left behind, lost in love and heartbreak while the other person keeps living like everything's okay.”

“I wouldn’t cheat on you,” Sehun declares. “I know it might be hard for you to believe me right away, but this is my personal promise: I won’t leave you and I won’t be unfaithful. And how could I? I don’t think I’ve felt this way about anyone before. Spending time with you, allowing myself to open up to you, I could never do it with anyone else. There’s no one else: never has been, and never will be. And I’ll do whatever I can to prove that to you, Jongin.”

The elder can’t help but crack a smile at that, though it’s a little watery. “I would ask if you’re proposing, but we’re already well past that, aren’t we?”

Sehun chortles and agrees, “ _ Well _ past that. It’s like we did all the things people in love do, but forgot the actual love part.”

“We’ll work on it,” Jongin hums, fully relaxing into his husband’s embrace. He can hear Sehun’s rhythmic heartbeat and steady breathing where his cheek is pressed against the younger’s chest. “We still have… what? The rest of our lives together?”

Sehun’s chest shakes a little with his laughter. “As long as you’ll have me, I’ll be right here.”

Warmth fills Jongin at the words. It’s calming and oh-so-natural to just be present, with Sehun pressed against him like a sturdy rock. He doesn’t want to worry about leaving this moment any time soon.

And now, he doesn’t have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I talk about the conception/development of this fic, the second part of this fic is gratuitous, filthy smut. It can be skipped if you prefer (though there is a sweet beginning and soft aftercare scene after if you want to skip around and read those parts) but let's be real, most of y'all are only here for that "E for explicit" rating so... yeah. Enjoy that!
> 
> Conception/Development:  
> \- I was inspired by a post/meme targeted at Desi Americans (which I am, hello!) and how many of us may end up resorting to arranged marriages because we are so broken/tired/indifferent when it comes to love (cries in relatable). Also, Baekhyun's Bungee played a huge role in the direction this took (as evidenced by the title) but then I forgot to make this angsty and sad because...  
> \- I was either drunk or high or both while writing this. 80% was done in one night (1am-5am squad where u at??). Originally, it was supposed to be short and sekai weren't gonna fall in love (or at least not have sex so soon lmao). It was different from this version but as a wise Ksoo once sang: "That's okay"  
> \- The other 20% took FOREVER because I started editing and worrying that it was too fast-paced/not realistic/etc but after like a month of agonizing over it, I realized that this is mostly self-indulgent (so keep ur criticisms to yourselves thanks!) and I don't have the patience to keep editing it until it reaches my self-imposed standards, so you get this version :)
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave kudos/comments/whatever. You can find me on tumblr @DanicaVarder if you wanna talk about EXO with me :)


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second part of the tags (starting from Overstimulation) apply specifically to this part, as do the previous tags.
> 
> Somewhat rushed ending, but I hope you enjoy it :)

Things shift between them. And how could they not?

Jongin falls asleep in Sehun’s arms and wakes up with lips pressed to his forehead. They spend their mornings making breakfast together and exchanging touches until Sehun has to go to work. The first time, Jongin so badly wants to kiss Sehun good bye, but he’s too shy, so he simply hugs him and says he’ll miss him. Within a week, the kisses are second nature.

They send each other messages all day, until they’re both back home and in each other’s arms again. They’ll talk about their day and exchange banter and if one of them goes too far, they apologize with more kisses until they’re laughing again. They spend their evenings with Jongin singing softly while Sehun reads a book or catches up on emails. Sometimes Jongin pulls him into a dance and is surprised when Sehun doesn’t stumble over his feet. Sometimes they just cuddle on the couch.

And every third day, they scene.

Everything is almost the same, but just  _ better _ . Jongin feels like a barrier has been broken through. He’s not as hesitant. Every touch is more intense. Every scene leaves him floating and ecstatic, thrashing on the sheets throughout and twitching uncontrollably after.

This time, Sehun has tied him to the bed this time with a blindfold and gag. He has employed Jongin’s back massager as a vibrator, trailing it up and down Jongin’s tensing thighs. Every once in a while, Sehun will pull away and as soon as Jongin whines in protest or longing, he delivers a sharp slap to the inside of his thighs before bringing the massager back.

Meanwhile, Jongin is achingly hard and unaware of time or space. He feels the steady drip of precum on his stomach, but hasn’t had a proper orgasm because of the cock ring secured around the base of his dick. His arms twist and turn futilely above his head where Sehun had tied them to the headboard with a length of red rope.

After what feels like hours of torturous pleasure, Sehun pulls away again, but this time he takes the gag out of Jongin’s mouth. “Give me a color, baby.”

It doesn’t take long for Jongin to respond. He may be smudging the line between total consciousness and subspace, but he’s still confident. “ _ Green _ . Please, Sehun,  _ green _ . Let me  _ cum _ .”

Jongin jerks when Sehun spanks his inner thigh again, harder than before. When he speaks, it’s in a growl. “Remember, baby, you’re calling me  _ daddy _ tonight.” Another spank, on the other thigh this time. “And good boys don’t ask for orgasms, they earn them. Do you think you’ve earned one, Nini?”

Jongin nods without hesitation, greedy. “Please, daddy. Nini already took his punishment.”

A hand fists in his hair and Jongin yelps at the sharp pain that sends shivers down his spine. He can feel Sehun’s breath on his lips and the rough brush of denim jeans against his sensitive thighs. The blindfold slides down just a bit and Jongin has to blink to readjust to the lights. When he’s focused again, Sehun is leaning over him, fully dressed compared to Jongin’s own state of nudity. Anyone else would find the look on his face threatening, but Jongin just sees adoration, a desire to protect.

“You asked for it, baby boy,” Sehun murmurs, tightening his hold and Jongin whines. “If you want to cum, you’ll cum till there’s nothing left.”

With that, Sehun suddenly reaches down and takes off the cock ring. In the same motion, he drags his palm through the precum on Jongin’s stomach and starts jerking him off at a breakneck speed. Jongin screams Sehun’s name as he cums fast and hard out of nowhere, but Sehun doesn’t stop. He drags Jongin through the aftershocks, his body quivering and nipples stiffening as the sensitivity ripples through him, until Jongin is whimpering pitiful iterations of “Daddy” instead. He takes his hand off Jongin’s cock just as quickly as he had started and moves away while pulling the blindfold back up.

“Rest while you can baby,” Sehun warns. Jongin hears the lube click open. “Daddy’s gonna prep you.”

Before Jongin can take in a breath, a finger is running over his hole, slick with lube. A guttural sound escapes him as Sehun massages his rim, dipping just the tip in and out slowly, Jongin clenching down in a futile effort to keep him inside. His toes curl and leg shake violently when Sehun finally slides the finger in fully and it burns but just enough that Jongin can enjoy it. He clenches down again when Sehun crooks the finger into his prostate for just a second before withdrawing and returning with more lube.

Jongin can’t help but hate how thorough Sehun likes to be with prep as he sticks to one finger for what feels like forever. But he remembers why he secretly loves it when Sehun finally,  _ finally  _ inserts another finger and the newfound thickness makes him shiver when it reaches his prostate. He moans lowly at the sensation and whispers, “Right there.”

Sehun stills for a second to readjust himself on the bed and then ruthlessly fucks his two fingers into Jongin’s ass, nailing his prostate with almost every thrust. Jongin’s yelp turns into a drawn out mewl. His body is still sensitive from his first orgasm and his cock is hardening again as the base of his stomach tightens and twists. The rope around his wrists strains as a reminder that he can’t touch himself.

“Sehu— ” a smack on his thigh. “Daddy, I need to cum!”

“Then cum,” Sehun says, sounding bored, though his pace has not slowed at all. Jongin feels a muscle spasm in his calf and his leg jumps on the bed. “I’ve already given you permission to cum as many times as it takes to run you dry. It’s what a slut like you deserves after acting like such a greedy baby boy, isn’t it? All you care about is cumming. It doesn’t even matter how, huh? Fucking into my hand or on my fingers or on my  _ cock _ . I bet you’d even cum on my fist if I gave it to you. You’ll use anything to get off, won’t you, whore? Next time, I should just stuff you with a vibrator and let you sit alone for a few hours. How many times do you think you can cum like that? How long before you’re crying, baby boy?”

Jongin is already crying at Sehun’s filthy words— dampening the blindfold— and the rapid, persistent contact against his most sensitive spot. He knows he’s about to cum and he can barely form the words to tell Sehun, let alone answer any of his questions. With a loud sob, he lets go, feeling harsh waves of pleasure emanate from his prostate to his cock to the rest of his body until he’s outright sobbing. It’s so  _ good _ , but the lack of pressure against his cock has him more frustrated than before. Sehun slows his pace to help Jongin ride it out, stilling his fingers for just a second.

“Look at you,” his husband hums, thumb coming up to briefly brush against his balls and Jongin howls from the sensitivity. “Cumming from two fingers in your ass and my words. Can you give me a color, baby boy?”

Blue is the first color Jongin thinks of. He feels like he’s drowning in the waves of his orgasm. Lost to the sensation. But something deep within him knows Sehun is asking to make sure he’s okay. He manages to mumble out a soft, “Green.”

“With confidence, baby. Give me a color.”

It’s impossible to focus with Sehun’s fingers still inside of him, but Jongin can’t muster the energy to say that. Instead, he takes a shuddering breath and tries to collect himself for a second. “Green.”

“Good boy,” Sehun praises, slipping his fingers out. Everything is slow, like Jongin’s brain is melted ice cream, even though his body is on high-alert. Jongin smiles to himself. Ice-cream would be nice. It always looks so fluffy in commercials. How do they make it do that? Jongin feels fluffy right now. Like he’s on a cloud and being carried far, far away.

“Should I give you another orgasm, baby?” Sehun’s voice breaks through his fantasy. Jongin can hear a wet sound, but can’t place what it is. He feels so small. So totally in Sehun’s control.

“Yes, please, Daddy.”

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Jongin’s head is rolling back as three fingers glide into him. They enter easily because of how stretched out he is and how much lube Sehun had used, but Jongin still feels every inch of them. He wonders if it’s possible to black out if he can’t see in the first place. He’s already so fucked out, despite not having been fucked properly at all, that he’s basically just his nerves at this point. It doesn’t take long for his cock to fill up again and for Sehun to build him up to another orgasm.

“I’m gonna cum again,” Jongin warns with a full body shiver. Sehun slips his pinky in without a word and Jongin chokes on an inhale. “Oh fuck.”

It’s too much, he’s too full, but it’s also exactly what he needs as Sehun opens him up. There’s no time to prepare for Sehun taking him in his mouth, except for the split second where his husband’s breath ghosts over his still leaking cock and a tongue laps at the head. Jongin thrusts up as much as he can, fucking into Sehun’s mouth and cumming with a shrill cry at the hot, wet warmth. Sehun swallows around him easily, sending Jongin spiraling and feeling like he’s about to float out of the earth’s gravitational pull. He’s practically vibrating against the sheets as his orgasm is torn from him and prolonged as Sehun’s fingers press repeatedly into his prostate and his throat clenches until Jongin is begging Sehun to stop.

With a final, deep push, Sehun pulls his fingers out slowly, then uses them to hold the base of Jongin’s cock as he withdraws his mouth, licking quickly at the sensitive head one last time just to hear Jongin cry out.

If he hadn’t blacked out before, Jongin definitely has now. Even with his eyes open under the blindfold, he can see spots flickering in his vision as his body shivers and his third orgasm rolls  _ through, around, within _ him. His heart is beating thunderously in his chest as it heaves and he takes open-mouthed breaths. After several long minutes (or maybe only seconds?), he can feel the tension in his muscles finally drift away and he breathes a sigh of relief, though it sounds more like a whimper.

“I’m gonna pull down the blindfold,” Sehun warns quietly. Jongin feels his husband shift on the bed and prepares to be blinded by light. But when the fabric is removed and he opens his eyes, he realizes Sehun has dimmed the lights and is hovering over him with the most adoring expression on his face. “Hi baby. How are you doing?”

Jongin opens his mouth but nothing comes out, so he just nods. Sehun looks so beautiful above him, like God himself is about to pull him into heaven. He feels blessed when Sehun combs a hand through his hair, damp with sweat, and brushes away a few stray tears and Jongin closes his eyes to bask in the gentleness.

“You’re so good for me, honey,” Sehun murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to Jongin’s forehead. “You took four fingers like a pro. And you managed three beautiful orgasms. I wish I had been recording them. Maybe next time, huh? Wouldn’t you like to see yourself from my perspective? Desperate and crying? Being a gorgeous baby boy, just for me?”

Jongin feels the blush crawling up his cheeks and turns his face away before finding his words. “Y-you,” his voice comes out small, so he tries to add some confidence behind it. “You could fuck me and record that. Right now. Daddy’s still hard, right? And you promised to fuck me tonight.”

He hears Sehun groan a little brokenly before cupping Jongin’s face to bring their gazes back to each other. Sehun’s pupils are dilated in want and Jongin can only imagine he looks the same, perhaps more wrecked. “And here I was thinking you couldn’t take anymore, but baby’s just a slut who lives to have his hole filled, hm? How about this: you tell me how much you want it and maybe I’ll give it to you. But we’ll save the recording for next time.”

“I want it,” Jongin says immediately, if not a little breathy. “Just thinking about it makes me—” he pauses to arch upwards, feeling the fabric of Sehun’s shirt brush against his sensitive nipples. “Ah! I’m… I’m such a whore. Even after having Daddy’s fingers, all I can think about is you fucking me on your cock until you cum inside me, until I’m messy and sloppy. I-I don’t even care if I cum, as long as you get to use me and stretch me out with your cock, I’ll be so happy, Daddy… so, so happy…”

Sehun leans him to give him a searing kiss, teeth pulling at Jongin’s lower lip and clothes irritating Jongin’s bare skin. “Tell me how you want it.”

“Want you to— ohhh… want you to put my legs on your shoulders and fuck into me. I want to be trapped under you, just taking whatever you give me. Wanna feel your big cock in my stomach. Making me your bitch,” Jongin moans, feeling Sehun’s erection through his pants as he grinds downwards. He simultaneously unties Jongin’s hands and Jongin immediately reaches for his husband to pull him into another filthy kiss that’s all tongue.

Eventually, Sehun pulls away and Jongin gets to watch as he undoes his pants, pulling them down just enough to get his dick out. It practically jumps out, smacking against his shirt, hard and dark with all the blood rushing to it after being neglected for so long. Jongin watches precum leak from the tip and wishes his mouth was there to catch it.

But getting fucked is more important. Jongin doesn’t try to hide his desperation, grabbing his own thighs and pulling his legs up so that Sehun has unrestricted access to his slightly gaping hole.

Sehun hisses at the sight, pulling at his own cock twice, while shuffling closer and adjusting Jongin so that his ankles can rest on Sehun’s broad shoulders. He leans over Jongin until he’s folded in half and their lips meet again. Jongin moans against Sehun’s mouth, feeling the length pressed up right against his hole. So big and hot and ready to fuck him into the mattress. It’s a wonder Jongin got so lucky.

“Fuck me,” Jongin begs as their lips slide together and his hands find Sehun’s sides, clutching on for dear life. “Please, daddy,  _ please _ , fuck this whore’s filthy, gaping hole. Mark it as yours. Make me your bitch. Plea—”

Jongin’s begging gets cut off and his eyes roll back when Sehun thrusts in the full length of his cock with no warning. It slides in easily from all the lube and prep, but Sehun is just so thick and this angle only makes it feel deeper, like Sehun’s fucked all the way up into his throat.

Sehun stills for a minute while Jongin lies motionless under him, overwhelmed at finally having his husband’s cock inside of him. _Where it belongs_. A dopey smile takes over his face. Just the feeling of Sehun’s dick inside of him is better than any of the orgasms he had just had.

“God, even after four fingers, you’re clamping down on me, baby,” Sehun hisses, forehead pressing against Jongin’s. “Still so tight.”

“Move… please, daddy… Sehun… move,” Jongin whispers when he finds his voice. “Make me loose for you.”

Sehun groans, pulling out briefly only to snap his hips forward  _ again and again and again,  _ building up to a steady rhythm. Every thrust punches out little, uncontrollable gasps and whimpers from Jongin. “You fucking  _ slut _ . This is all you want, huh? Is this all you think about all day and all night? Daddy’s cock fucking into your little hole until it’s ruined? God, I can’t wait to fill you up with my cum. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes! Yes! Harder, daddy!” Jongin keens, nails digging into Sehun’s sides as his husband delivers. “I’m your cockslut. I only want to be used by you.”

Sehun drills in deeper, faster, and Jongin thinks that if he looks down, he might see the outline of Sehun’s cock fucking into him through his abdomen. But he can barely gather the strength to do anything, head thrown back against the pillows and moaning uncontrollably. Sehun takes one of his sensitive nipples into his mouth and Jongin arches his back, causing Sehun’s cock to slip even deeper, the friction even better.

“All mine,” Sehun whispers as he pulls off and moves to the other nipple. He sucks and bites as Jongin twitches under him. “Already getting hard again. Are you gonna cum four times today?”

Jongin can only nod and let out a sultry  _ “ah, ah, ah” _ in response, eyes squeezing shut as Sehun pounds into him roughly, thrusts getting sloppier and shorter as he tries to keep himself buried in Jongin’s tight heat.

“I’m gonna cum soon, baby,” Sehun warns, a hand coming up to wrap around Jongin’s throat and bring their eyes together. “And you’re gonna cum with me.”

“Yes,” Jongin agrees breathlessly. His cock aches and his hole feels stretched and full and  _ hot _ . He wants Sehun to cum in him, to bless him with his seed. He wants to spill himself untouched. And he’s so sensitive that he  _ could _ ,  _ oh god. _

“I’m gonna cu— cum,” Jongin hiccups. Between the slick slide of Sehun’s dick in him, the overstimulation, the hand on his throat, Sehun looking at him like  _ that…  _ he’s definitely not going to last. “It’s so good… Nini’s gonna cum just from Daddy’s cock in his ass. Daddy,  _ please _ tell me to cum for you,  _ please _ !”

Sehun lets out a noise that honestly sounds like a growl, terrifying and arousing all at once, like the devil himself has possessed him. A shiver runs down Jongin’s spine, right to his erogenous zones and he whines as Sehun encourages him., “ _ Cum for Daddy, baby. Cum right fucking now. Fucking… ahh… shit! _ ”

Jongin sobs when he releases for the fourth time, cock jerking pathetically on his stomach as the last of his cum is milked out of him from Sehun’s unrelenting thrusts directly to his prostate. He screams as Sehun continues fucking his cock into Jongin’s clenching hole, the friction too much when he’s already shaking and crying. He jerks against the sheets, scratching Sehun’s back up as he tries to pull his husband closer to quell the satisfaction from his orgasm.

“ _ Yes, baby… _ ” Sehun grunts, hips slowing until Jongin feels ropes of cum being emptied into him and cries again. He loves feeling Sehun cum inside of him,  _ marking _ him. And the sensation is only enhanced when Sehun’s palm starts rubbing circles onto the head of his spent cock.

Jongin’s eyes roll back and he chokes on a  _ scream  _ of “DADDY!” His balls ache as yet  _ another _ orgasm is pulled from his spent body, but it’s not a dry one. Instead, clear liquid squirts from his cock with a few involuntary jerks of his hips. He screams through it until Sehun takes his hand off his dick and lets him tremble on the sheets for a second, a live wire of nerves and pleasure.

It takes a minute for the roar in his ears to quiet, though his body is still twitching. He calms as the intensity of back-to-back orgasms ebbs away, aided by a calming hand in his hair and Sehun’s voice— softer, now— praising him and bringing him back down.

“That was so  _ good _ , darling… that’s it… come back to me… good boy…” Sehun hums, pressing soft kisses to Jongin’s tear-stained cheeks. His words sound muffled, but so pleasant. When Jongin’s eyes flutter open— the blindfold removed— Sehun looks down at him like he’s the most wonderful person in the world. “How are you feeling, Jongin?”

Jongin’s mouth opens but nothing comes out except for a broken whimper that vaguely sounds like “good”.

“It’s okay, Jongin. Playtime is over now. And you were so good for me,” Sehun reassures him, more kisses deposited on his cheeks. He holds him for a minute, dropping compliments and kisses until Jongin has calmed down a little. “Can I quickly go warm up the shower for us? I’ll be right back.”

Another whimper, so Jongin settles for nodding.

Sehun gets up and Jongin’s eyes follow him to the bathroom, distantly picking up on the sound of the shower starting. When Sehun comes back, he’s holding a damp washcloth and has removed his clothes. Jongin can’t help but giggle at the fact that Sehun was clothed  _ during _ sex but only got naked  _ after _ .

“Just gonna wipe you up first, so you can sit up,” Sehun explains, gesturing to the mess on Jongin’s abdomen and Jongin flushes as it finally dawns on him that he had wet himself. Sehun must catch his expression because he’s planting a kiss on Jongin’s lips. “It was messy, but so good, Jongin. I got to see you lose control— exactly what I wanted from you. Thank you for letting me experiment today and— moreover— for trusting me.”

The words send a pleasant tingle through Jongin and he smiles shyly, feeling warmth crawl up his chest to his cheeks. Sehun notices and returns the grin and gives him another appreciative kiss.

As Sehun cleans him up, the haze starts to lift. When he’s done, Sehun drops the washcloth onto the dirty sheets and helps Jongin sit up. His legs are too wobbly to walk, so Sehun carries him into the bathroom, testing the water temperature with his leg before pulling them both in. He reaches for the soap and lathers them up, taking care of Jongin first and only focusing on himself while Jongin rinses.

“Th-that was really good,” Jongin finally says once he’s feeling more like himself. “I didn’t expect— I’m glad we tried it out, or I wouldn’t have known how much I liked it.”

Sehun gives him a fond look, pumping shampoo into his palm and reaching for Jongin’s hair. Jongin drops his head into Sehun’s chest and allows him to wash his hair. “I’m glad you liked it. I was almost worried that I had gone too far.”

“No,” Jongin hums against Sehun’s collarbone. “It was exactly what I needed. Practice has been a bitch. I didn’t know I was so tense until… well, right now. I feel so much lighter.”

Sehun tells him to close his eyes as he directs Jongin under the spray of water to wash the shampoo out. The water muffles his words a little. “That’s good to hear, babe. I’ve been feeling shitty with this week’s program falling through, so finally having something go right is nice.”

Jongin laughs at that, though he regrets it when some of the bitter shampoo-water gets in his mouth. He splutters for a second before saying, “I’m glad me having multiple orgasms and peeing on our sheets counts as ‘something going right.’”

Sehun snorts, too. “It wasn’t even that much. And sheets can be cleaned. This program was supposed to be a panel for the kids to ask successful career-people, who identify as LGBTQIA, questions about breaking into their fields despite biases and discrimination. I can’t believe half of those fuckers cancelled.”

With a sigh, Jongin steps away from the water and pushes Sehun under it instead. He pumps shampoo into his own hands and works up a lather in Sehun’s soft strands. “That was a real dick move for sure, but I don’t want you dwelling on that right now. This is supposed to be a way to  _ release _ stress, not think about it more. I can help you brainstorm a new plan tomorrow, but for now, I want you to be  _ here _ , with  _ me _ .”

Sehun smiles, rinsing his hair out before pulling Jongin into his arms and nuzzling his neck. “I like the sound of that. You know that cuddling you is my favorite part of this?”

This time Jongin snorts, even as he returns Sehun’s embrace. “God, I can’t believe I ever thought you were heartless. You’re such a fucking softie.”

“I mean, you weren’t wrong; I wasn’t exactly interested in love at the time,” Sehun shrugs, shutting off the water and grabbing a towel. He dries them both off and pulls them out of the shower to rub lotion into Jongin’s skin. “I didn’t think it was important. But spending time with you… getting to know you…” Sehun pauses to wrap Jongin up in a fluffy robe, a little bear stitched on the breast pocket, and finishes with the lotion. “… things change.”

“So are you saying you love me?” Jongin teases, even as the words send his heart thumping. They’ve never exactly  _ said _ the words to each other, even after these past five months of falling into their new rhythm. Even though they’re approaching one year of being married, Jongin feels like this uncharted territory. It’s like Sehun had said: they’d done all the things people in love do, but hadn’t actually been in love. And now they had fallen in love... but had they  _ really _ if they hadn’t said the words to each other?

Sehun doesn’t answer right away, grabbing some lotion and rubbing it into his own skin quickly before shrugging on his own robe, monogrammed with black thread. When he’s done, he fixes Jongin with a strange look. “Was I not obvious enough about it?”

Jongin averts his gaze quickly. “No, I just mean— you’ve never— I’ve never—”

A hand tilts his chin back to Sehun’s beautiful eyes, sparkling with fondness. “I love you, Jongin. Really, I do. And I’ll say it every day until death do us part. And even after that, in the afterlife or heaven or wherever we end up, I’ll find you just to say it again.”

Jongin doesn’t feel the tears until they drip down his face and Sehun wipes them away with his thumbs. He feels a little silly for crying, but up until a few months ago, he had thought that he wasn’t made for love. That, no matter how hard he tried to make it work, love would evade him. That being vulnerable and ready to fall in love would only ever end in heartbreak.

Sehun hadn’t been the one. But they had taken their time, fallen in love in their own convoluted, unorthodox way. Jongin had used these past five months to convince himself that he was worthy of love and this time, he hadn’t just found a lifelong partner… he’d found something beyond that.

It comes out muffled by tears  _ crying seems to be the foundation of their relationship,  _ Jongin thinks— but they’re happy tears. The happiest tears he’s ever shed. Even Sehun’s a little teary-eyed.

“I love you, too, Sehun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading :)


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